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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26943640">Left Behind</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PassionWriter/pseuds/PassionWriter'>PassionWriter</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Outlander &amp; Related Fandoms, Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 17:21:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>18,698</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26943640</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PassionWriter/pseuds/PassionWriter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In this alternate universe, Claire is not the one to travel through the stones when Jamie tries to send her back before the battle at Culloden.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Claire Beauchamp/Jamie Fraser</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>129</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>202</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClaireR89/gifts">ClaireR89</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She knew from the moment he forced her onto the horse that he was taking her to Craigh Na Dun, forcing her to live a life that she no longer wanted.  They rode in silence as a steady stream of tears cascaded down her face.  She placed her hands reverently on her stomach over the place where their child grew, still unseen.  She tried to come to terms with how she would go on without him, how she would raise their child with only a memory of him.  They had been robbed of their chance to parent their daughter Faith together and now it seemed that they were being robbed of the chance to raise this child together.  But she knew he was right, she had to go back for the sake of their child.  She would cherish this child as the last gift that Jamie had given her.  She would honor the promise that she had made to him when they were in Paris, she would honor his memory and tell this child everything about the great man that had sacrificed his own life for the life of her and their child.</p><p>As the towering stones of Craigh Na Dun came into view, she resolved herself with what she must do but struggled with how she would take that last step and say goodbye to the love of her life.  She knew she would have several battles of her own to overcome once returning to the future and trying to find the words to explain what had happened to her seemed like an impossible task.  While she was lost in her thoughts, Jamie pulled the horse to a stop and slid off.  He helped her down and all but drug her up the hill to send her away forever.   But as they reached the outer circle, Claire pulled her hand out of his grasp, resting both hands on her still flat stomach.  She looked up at him with anguish in her eyes, "How do I explain all of this, how can I go back?"</p><p>Jamie extended his hand toward her, "To Frank, that I leave to you.  Tell him what ye will about me, about us.  Likely he'll no' want to here, but if he does.  Tell him I'm grateful, tell him I trust him, tell him I hate him to the verra marrow of his bones."</p><p>Claire refused to take his outstretched hand, "I'm not ready Jamie, I'm not ready.  Come with me, come with me through the stones."</p><p>Jamie shook his head, "I canna, tis no' my place, my destiny lies on Culloden Moor."</p><p>Claire begged, "You could at least try."</p><p>Jamie reached out and placed his hand on the stone, but before he could utter a word, he disappeared before her very eyes as if he was made of nothing more than mist.  She stood frozen for a moment in complete shock, then suddenly lurched forward and thrust her hands against the stone.  However this time she couldn't hear the buzzing, she hadn't been pulled into endless darkness with the sounds of trapped souls screaming around her.  She collapsed at the base of the stone, sobbing uncontrollably at the unfairness of it all.  She looked up at the stones and screamed, "Why, why did you take him from me, why did you take him from us.  Let me pass, let me go to him, please give him back to me."</p><p>A cannon blast in the distance made her clamp her mouth shut, fearful that someone would overhear her.  She scrambled to her feet, wiped the tears from her face, and looked around, but no one was around.  She looked up at the stone one last time and realized that she had only one option left now that Jamie was no longer at her side ready to protect her with his life if need be.  She knew that she couldn't go back to Lallybroch, not now at least.  If she were found at Lallybroch the redcoats would know immediately that she was Red Jamie's wife and they would likely kill her and their child on the spot.  If she went back to Lallybroch she wouldn't only be putting her own life in danger, but the lives of everyone else as well.</p><p>She knew of only one place she could go in this century and now it was time to play the loyal British subject.  She stumbled down the hill to find Jamie's horse grazing in the grass below.  She put her foot in the stirrup and pulled herself up onto the horse and turned him South, away from Culloden Moor.  She quickly sent up a quick prayer for the safety of Murtagh, Fergus, the Lallybroch men, and most of all for Jamie, where ever he might have ended up.</p><p>Jamie had taught her how to evade capture, so she stayed deep in the forest, using the moss on the trees as her guide.  She rode until nightfall when she could no longer make out her direction of travel.  She tied the horse to a tree, untied Jamie's bedroll, but didn't light a fire.  She was wary of drawing any unwanted attention while she was still so far from the border.</p><p>She slept fitfully the first night, wrapped in nothing but the tartan she had around her shoulders when they took off toward Craigh Na Dun.  She woke as the first rays of light filtered through the trees.  She gathered what edible plant matter she could find and ate until her belly felt full.  Then she remounted the horse and continued south toward England.  She knew that once she crossed the border, she would be able to blend in more easily and could buy passage on a ship without question.  </p><p>She knew that it would likely take her about 2 weeks to reach England and she would need to have more substantial meals if she were to make it there alive. Luckily she still had the dirk that Jamie had given her, which would come in useful if she could catch a small animal or fish.  She knew that fish would be better since she could safely eat it without the need for cooking it.</p><p>By noon the second day, her belly was complaining with hunger pains, so she regretfully stopped near a stream and gathered more berries and wild onions.  She drank water directly from the stream and prayed that she wouldn't become ill from not boiling it first.  After she had filled her belly again, she remounted the horse and again rode south, praying that she would have better luck in the days to come.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The dreadful screams assaulted his senses and seemed to be pulling at him from every direction, then everything stopped.  He found himself lying in the grass, feeling like death warmed over and confused about what had just happened.  The last thing he remembered before the black void full of screaming was talking to Claire, trying to convince her that he couldn't travel to the future with her, and then placing his hand on the stone...</p><p>His eyes shot opened and he sat up, suddenly feeling quite ill.  He turned to his side and emptied his stomach of the meager breakfast they had shared that morning.  Once his stomach felt calm enough to stand up, he scrambled to his feet and looked around, wary of calling out to Claire and drawing the attention of the redcoats.  He drew his sword and circled the stones, but there was no sign of Claire anywhere.  He furrowed his brow in thought and wondered if he had been knocked out and she had escaped through before anyone could take her.  He sighed, regretting that he had not told her goodbye, that he had not told her just how much he loves her and kissed her once more.  But now that she was gone, he only had one thing left to do.  He took a deep breath, pressed his hand to the center stone once more, and bid her goodbye, praying that she and the child would be safe.</p><p>After a moment, he turned away from the stone and made his way down the hill in search of his horse.  When he couldn't find the beast, he whistled and listened, but the only sounds around were those of songbirds and some kind of loud rumble coming from the other side of the hill.  He turned and cautiously circled around to the far side of the hill, curious to what had made the strange sound.  Whatever it was, the sound was now fading away. </p><p>As he emerged on the other side, he suddenly stopped in his tracks.  The forest that had once stood there was gone and in its place was a long stretch of what appeared to be a road, but it was unlike any road Jamie had ever seen.  Jamie gasped as he realized that this is the type of road that Claire had described from her time.  He immediately turned on his heel and raced back up to the top of the hill and pressed his hands to the stone, but nothing happened. </p><p>He felt like screaming out and begging to be let through, but he had no idea of this time and was wary of drawing any attention to himself.  So instead he sank to his knees and silently wept for the wife and child he had unwittingly left behind.  After a while, he got up, he knew he couldn't stay at Craigh Na Dun forever, but he would never give up trying to get back to them.  He quickly took stock, he still had his sword and his pistol and all the contents of his sporan.  There was still the vast forest nearby and it's not as though they hadn't been living rough these past months with Charles's army.  </p><p>He decided that the first thing he needed to do was to find something to eat and a place to rest, after that he would need to find out what time in history he had traveled to.  He walked back down the hill in the original direction he had gone and slipped into the forest to set a few snares.  After he had set the snares and collected some berries, he sat down on a log to think about his next move.  The most important thing was to find out what had happened to Claire, it was even more important than figuring out what time he had arrived in.  He tried to think about what she would have done after he disappeared.  He was certain that if she had traveled through the stones as well, that she would be there with him, so the stones must not have allowed her to pass through a second time, perhaps it was due to the child in her womb.  Maybe the stones would not allow two souls to pass through at once.</p><p>After some time to think, he knew that she would not return to Lallybroch, there is no way that she would risk the lives of the rest of his family by returning.  Her best chance at survival would be to go to England, but she didn't know anyone in England, not in his time anyway.  He realized that he had no idea what Claire would do now that she was all alone with their unborn child to protect.  Where on earth would she feel that she could go and be safe?  Jamie furrowed his brow, then in a moment of realization, he knew instantly where she would go.  She would go to people she trusted, people who would take her in and care for her. </p><p>Now he just had to figure out how he would find her in the history books she had mentioned.  Would a lone woman living in the 18th century even be mentioned in history books, would there be any trace of her for him to follow?  His Sassenach was a canny lass, and surely she had realized what had happened and she would find a way to let him know that she was alright.  He had no idea what, if anything he would find of her, but he knew he must try.  In the morning he would make his way to Inverness, determined to find out what year he had arrived in, and then ask anyone who would listen to him, where he might do some research into the past. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Claire had ridden hard for 6 days before she stumbled across the body of a Scotsman.  She hated to have to do it, but the man no longer needed his weapons or whatever contents he carried in his sporran.  She climbed down off of her horse, gathered his sword, his dirk, and his sporran.  She knelt on the ground next to him and emptied his sporran to see what would be useful to her.  Like Jamie, he carried a dried up old mole's foot.  He also had a few buttons, some twine, a couple of fish hooks, and a few schillings.  She slipped everything but the mole's foot back into the sporran then slid it onto his sword belt and secured it around her waist.</p><p>She didn't have time to linger, so she climbed back onto her horse and kicked him hard to get away from the body as quickly as possible.   She started to recognize the forest around her and realized that she was somewhere west of Glasgow.  She had made good time and likely would cross into England in the next four days.  Then she would just need to make it to the nearest port and board a ship toward France. </p><p>She rode for 5 more days before crossing the border into England, thankfully never coming into contact with another living soul as she traveled.  Since finding the dead Scotsman she had been able to catch a few fish each day which she cooked over fires early in the mornings when the mist could disguise the smoke from her campfire.  Luckily she wasn't yet experiencing any morning sickness like she had when she was pregnant with Faith and she prayed that it would stay that way.</p><p>She knew that once she reached her destination that she would need to write to Jenny and tell her about Jamie.  But what she wasn't sure of is what she would tell Jenny had happened to her brother.  Claire wasn't even certain herself.  They had not thought that Jamie could travel through the stones and she knew there were trapped souls of those who couldn't pass.  But what she didn't know was if Jamie had become a trapped soul or if he had survived and made it through to the other side.   If he had made it through, what year would he have traveled to and how could she find her way back to him.  She knew that if he had made it through, he would try and look for her.  She had to figure out a way to let him know where she was going and that she had escaped.</p><p>But her immediate concern was selling Jamie's horse as well as the sword and dirk she had taken from the dead Scotsman for enough coin to buy passage on one of the ships that were moored in the dock on the River Tweed.  As she wandered around the small town, she came across a blacksmith who had made a comment about the fine sword she was carrying.  After a few minutes of haggling with him, she struck up a deal and he bought the sword, dirk, and Jamie's horse, earning her a handsome sum in return.  She knew that in order to blend in, she would need to procure some clothing that was more English in style, but she would not part with Jamie's tartan.  </p><p>When she sold the horse, she kept the saddlebags with her so that she had something in which to carry her meager belongings.  After she bought a basic English styled peasant dress, she shoved her old things in one of the saddlebags and made her way toward the docks.  Claire lifted her chin and walked straight up to the first man who had an air of authority about him, "Excuse me sir, I'm looking for passage to France, do you happen to have room aboard this vessel?"</p><p>The man looked at her with his eyebrow quirked up, "Are you on your own, miss?"</p><p>Claire squared her shoulders, "Yes, I am.  I am headed to France to work as a healer at L'Hopital de Anges in Paris, but first I must find passage on a ship."</p><p>The man looked her up and down, "A healer you say, perhaps we can strike a bargain. I am the captain of this ship and my ship's surgeon was recently struck down with the pox.  You're not afraid of a little blood, are you miss?"</p><p>Claire stood a bit taller, "Not at all, I have seen many men die and most in violent ways.  Please tell me of these deal you are offering."</p><p>The man sat down on a barrel that smelled suspiciously of pickled herring and Claire fought to keep from vomiting at the odor.  He crossed his arms over his chest and narrowed his gaze at her, "If you agree to be my ship's surgeon, I shall grant you passage to Paris."</p><p>Claire stuck out her hand, "Done, when do we leave."</p><p>The man chuckled but didn't take her hand, "We leave at evening tide, that gives you two hours to get your affairs in order and be back on the ship."</p><p>Claire sighed in relief, "I have no affairs to get in order, I am ready now, so if you would show me to the surgeons quarters I would greatly appreciate it."</p><p>The man shook his head at the odd woman before him and stood to walk toward the gangplank. "Fine, follow me."</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jamie woke at the crack of dawn, went to the stream to wash up, and then made his way to the other side of the hill where the black road stretched into the horizon.  He walked for several hours in the direction that he knew Inverness was located and had not seen another living soul.  But then a sound similar to the one he had heard soon after arriving on this side of the stones had startled him.  He jumped away from the road and looked up as a huge metal monstrosity raced by.   His eyes went wide at the strange object, which he vaguely remembered Claire referring to as a car.  The car had raced by faster than anything he had ever seen and he determined that the road was probably not the safest place to travel on foot.</p><p>As more time passed, he saw more and more cars going by until one of them finally stopped.  A young man leaned out of the car, "Excuse me, do ye need a ride into town?"</p><p>Jamie frowned and looked at the strangely dressed man, "Aye, I suppose I could use a ride."</p><p>The man gestured for Jamie to come closer, then leaned over and pushed the door open.  Jamie climbed in and pulled the door shut, not letting go of the handle.  The man forced the car back into motion and off they went at lightning speed.  Jamie clenched his mouth shut and forced the bile back down his throat.  When the man finally brought the car to a stop, Jamie sucked in a huge breath and shook his head, "I think I have had enough for one day, ye can let me out now."</p><p>The man frowned, "Dinna be daft, where is it yer trying to get to?"</p><p>Jamie swallowed and thought to argue, but perhaps the man could still be of some help, "I need to do some research into the time around the Battle of Culloden."</p><p>The man grinned, "Well there is only one place where I ken ye can do that.  At least if ye want the best research material."</p><p>Jamie nodded, "Aye, I would be grateful."</p><p>The man turned the car onto a gravel road and went at a snail's pace toward a lone house at the end of the road, "Reverand Wakefield has the most extensive collection on the Battle of Culloden."</p><p>Jamie smiled gratefully, thinking the name Wakefield sounded familiar but he couldn't quite place it while his wame was restless.  A few minutes later the man stopped in front of a large house, "Here ye are lad, I dinna think the Reverand will be home until this evening, but his housekeeper, Mrs. Graham should be home.  She kens what books ye can use until the Reverand returns."</p><p>Jamie thanked the man and looked at the door, "How do I get out?"</p><p>The man rolled his eyes and reached across in front of Jamie to open the door.  Jamie climbed out of the car, pushed the door shut, and turned to face the manse.  He walked up to the door, his hand on the hilt of his sword then knocked and waited for someone to answer.  A moment later the door swung open to reveal a tiny older lady, "Hello, what can I do for ye today?"</p><p>Jamie smiled politely, "Hello, I'm told that this is the place to come to research the Battle of Culloden, are ye, Mrs. Graham?"</p><p>The lady looked him up and down, her eyes round as she took in his appearance.  She reached a hand out and drug him unceremoniously into the house, slamming the door behind him.  She lowered her voice as she pulled him further into the house, "When did you come from?"</p><p>Jamie frowned and jerked back from her, "Madam, I beg yer pardon?"</p><p>The lady narrowed her eyes at him, "Aye, my name is Mrs. Graham and I have spent enough of my life around replicas and genuine artifacts to ken that the sword and dirk yer carrying are the genuine articles.  Now either ye robbed a museum or ye brought those pieces with ye from the past.  Now, tell me, what year did ye come from?"</p><p>Jamie's shoulders slumped, "How do I ken that I can trust ye?"</p><p>Mrs. Graham waved her hand in the air as if to dismiss his concerns, "I am a dancer at the stones, there isna anyone ye can trust more."</p><p>Jamie nodded and took a deep breath, "Alright, I woke up on the fairy hill yesterday after touchin' the stones on April 15, 1746."</p><p>Mrs. Graham gasped, "Why were ye at the fairy hill on the eve of the Battle?  Were ye hoping the stories were true, did ye ken that ye could travel?"</p><p>Jamie shook his head, "Nah, I didna think I could travel.  I was there to send my wife back to her own time.  She is carryin' my bairn and it was the only way I could see to save them, but when she asked me to come wi' her I touched the stone to show her that I couldna.  But instead, the stone took me from her and now I dinna think that she could have gone back through.  If she could then she would have followed me through and we would be together now."</p><p>Mrs. Graham nodded, "So ye wish to try and find information about her in the history books, aye?"</p><p>Jamie nodded, "Aye."</p><p>Mrs. Graham patted his hand, "Well, the Reverand has the most extensive collection on the time period yer interested in.  I'll help ye to try and find yer wife.  But we must have a name to begin our research.  Though woman were no' written about much during that time.  What is yer name, perhaps we can start there and then try and find her?"</p><p>Jamie sighed with relief that he had come to the right place, "My name is James Alexander Malcolm MacKenzie Fraser.  It shouldna be hard to find me, I was known as Red Jamie during the rising and was one of Charles Stuarts most trusted advisors."</p><p>Mrs. Graham's eyes went round as she gasped, "Yer Red Jamie, the Red Jamie.  Oh my and yer sitting here in front of me."  Jamie frowned, "Aye, madam, I am, now if we can get to my wife."</p><p>Mrs. Graham collected herself, "Aye, of course, but if yer Red Jamie, are the stories true, was yer wife called the Stuart Witch?"</p><p>Jamie rolled his eyes, "That is one of the names she was known by, she was also called the white lady, and La Dame Blanche but her name is Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp Fraser, Lady Broch Tuarach."</p><p>Mrs. Graham went completely white, "Did ye just say that yer wife is Claire?"</p><p>Jamie frowned and nodded, "Aye, I did."</p><p>Mrs. Graham got up from the table, knocking her chair over in the process, "Come with me, Jamie."</p><p>Jamie got up and followed Mrs. Graham, unsure of her odd behavior.  She opened the door to what looked like a study and walked over to the desk.  She shuffled through a stack of papers then stopped when she came to what she was looking for.  She pressed the sheet of paper to her chest and turned back to Jamie, "Tell me yer wife's name once more."</p><p>Jamie sighed, "Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp Fraser, Lady Broch Tuarach."</p><p>Mrs. Graham pulled the sheet of paper away from her chest and turned it so Jamie could see it.  On the paper was Claire's exact likeness.  His eyes went round and he reached out with trembling hands to take the paper from her, "Claire."</p><p>He looked up at her, "Where did ye get a portrait of my wife?  Why is there a reward for information that leads to her whereabouts?"</p><p>Mrs. Graham reached out and placed a hand on his forearm.  "If this is yer wife, then she did indeed fall through the stones three years ago and it isna safe for ye to be here.  Her husband, that is her first husband, Mr. Randall makes regular visits to the Reverand.  I think ye should come home with me, at least until we can figure out what happened to Claire and figure out a way for ye to get back to her."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Up until now, the chapters have rotated from Jamie to Claire, this one will be a bit different.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mrs. Graham didn't waste any time getting Jamie out of the manse and loading him into her car.  She quickly realized that he was suffering from motion sickness and slowed her vehicle down as much as possible to try to ease the ride for him.  Luckily she didn't live too far from the manse and Jamie was able to make it all the way there without getting sick.  She helped him out of the car and led him to her front door.  She pulled a key from her purse and unlocked the door, "It's not much, but there is a spare room that ye can use until we figure out a way to get ye back to yer time."</p><p>Mrs. Graham set her purse down on a table next to the door, took her coat off, and hung it on a hook next to the table.  "Come, with me lad, I'll show ye to yer room."</p><p>Jamie followed her down the short hall, listening as she pointed out the washroom and explaining its contents.  She showed him to a small room at the end of the hall, then turned to let him get comfortable.  "I need to return to the manse before the Reverand returns and notices that I'm gone.  But I will return in a bit and then we can go over what ye ken that will lead us to find Claire."</p><hr/><p>To Claire's dismay, her hope of making the crossing without being sick was crushed as soon as the ship set sail.  She spent most days lying sick in her bunk and only coming out when a surgical emergency required her attention.  She had bartered for passage and no matter how ill she was feeling, she couldn't let the captain down by not seeing to her duties.   Luckily the worst of the wounds was a shallow gash to the head of one of the ship's hands.   He had been stumbling across the deck during a violent storm and had slipped, hitting his head on the base of the foremast.</p><p>By the time they docked in France, Claire never wanted to set foot on another ship again.  She chuckled at the irony of her thoughts, being the same as what Jamie had voiced when they first landed in France in 1744.   Her hands automatically went down to cover her barely perceptible bump where her child rested.  She blinked back the tears that threatened to spill at the thought that Jamie would never meet this child either.  She made a promise to herself and her child right then.  No matter what happened from here forward, she would make sure that her child would know about his father.  She would tell him how he had tried to sacrifice himself for their safety.</p><p>She also suppressed the anger at Jamie that threatened to bubble to the surface.  He had argued that there was no escape for them, but she had managed to do just that, all on her own with nothing to her name.  She looked around and decided there was only one place where she could go, only one place that she wouldn't be turned away for the part she had played in the rising.  She hailed a carriage and climbed inside, "To Jared Fraser's residence, please?"</p><hr/><p>When Mrs. Graham returned to her home, she found Jamie sitting on her couch, reading one of the books from her shelf.  He looked up from the book as she came in, "Ye were gone a while, I didna ken what to do wi' myself, so I borrowed one of yer books."</p><p>Mrs. Graham took her coat off, "Dinna fash yer self, it's likely the first time the book has been touched in years."</p><p>Jamie set the book on the little table in front of the couch and stood up, "Mrs. Graham, how do we find Claire?"</p><p>Mrs. Graham walked into her kitchen, with Jamie on her heels.  She gestured to the small round dining table in the corner of the kitchen, "Ye ken Claire better than I do, so we will make a list of the places ye think she might go.  Then we will research each of them and rule out any that we dinna find anything."</p><p>Jamie nodded, "Aye, that is a sound plan."</p><p>Mrs. Graham took a piece of paper and a pen from the counter and sat down in the chair opposite from Jamie, "Alright lad, ye said that Claire is Lady Broch Tuarach, so tell me, where is Broch Tuarach located?"</p><p>Jamie frowned, "Does it no' still exist in this time?"</p><p>Mrs. Graham shrugged, "I dinna ken lad, we shall find out."</p><p>Jamie sighed, "We called it Lallybroch in honor of the tower it was named after.  It was near Broch Mordha, surely the village must still exist in this time."</p><p>Mrs. Graham looked up from her notes, "Och, aye.  Broch Mordha is still there, if ye ken yer way to Lallybroch from there, we can drive up tomorrow.  I think that should be the first place we check.  The lass might not have gone home straight after the battle, but she would have eventually gone there and would likely be buried in the family burial plot, would she not?"</p><p>Jamie's breath caught in his throat as he realized the implication of her words.  Even if Claire had managed to escape and lived a long healthy life with their child, she was dead by now, in this time.  All he would find of her if he found anything, would be memories.</p><p>Mrs. Graham patted his hand, "Where might she have gone to escape the clearances, other than Lallybroch?"</p><p>Jamie shook the terrible thoughts from his head, "She wouldna have gone to Lallybroch, she wouldna risk the rest of the family.  She likely would have gone to France, she had friends there."</p><p>Mrs. Graham nodded and wrote down France, "Where in France and do ye ken the names of her friends?"</p><p>Jamie put his head in his hands for a moment, then finally looked up with bloodshot eyes, "She would have gone to Paris.  She could have gone to L'Hopital de Anges, to Mother Hildegarde, or her friend Marie Louise de La Tour d'Auvergne who was the wife of Jules de Rohan, Prince of Guéméné.  She was also friendly wi' the apothecary, Master Raymond, but he was exiled from France before we left for Scotland.  I dinna think she would seek him out."</p><p>Mrs. Graham finished writing, "Good, this is a good start.  Didn't ye say that she was known as La Dame Blanche as well?"</p><p>Jamie nodded, "Aye, I did."</p><p>Mrs. Graham smiled, "I'm not the historian that the Reverand or Mr. Randall is, but I have heard of La Dame Blanche, but whether or not she is Claire remains to be determined.  After we visit Lallybroch tomorrow and determine in which years we should be searching for her, we will focus our efforts on Paris."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning, Jamie was up with the larks, feeling a bit of anxious trepidation at the notion of visiting Lallybroch.  It wasn't only the thought of seeing Claire's grave, but also the rest of his family's graves and the current state of Lallybroch herself that caused his wame to twist.  He made his way out of his room and to the washroom down the hall.  Mrs. Graham had explained further the night before, the use of everything contained in the washroom and he was eager to try out a hot bath.  Claire had joked that the hot baths had almost won out when she had chosen to stay with him, so he wanted to see for himself how delightful they truly were. </p><p>Mrs. Graham had brought some modern clothes from the church lost and found when she returned to the house the night before.  She had left the clothes, fresh soap, a towel, and a washrag in the washroom for Jamie's use.  She had already left for the manse by the time Jamie woke up, having left a note slid under his door.  He turned on the tap to the bath, just as Mrs. Graham had shown him and allowed the tub to begin filling as he disrobed and folded his clothes, placing them in a stack on the edge of the sink. </p><p>He dipped a toe in the tub, testing the temperature before plunging his foot all the way in, stepping fully into the tub, and sinking down to allow the water to cover most of his body.  The tub wasn't a large one by any means, so Jamie had to bend his legs, with his knees almost to his chin to fit completely in the tub.   He leaned his head back, letting the steaming hot water, relax his sore muscles for a bit before worrying about washing.   He grinned to himself when he realized that Claire had been right when she had described how wonderful it was to sit in a hot bath and just relax.  After a few minutes, he sat up and reached for the rag and soap that he had left on the floor next to the tub.  He built up a lather on the rag and began to scrub every inch of his skin.  The herbal scent that the soap emitted reminded him of Claire and his eyes began to burn with the tears he tried to hold in.  It was no use, the tears rolled down his face, unbidden.  At long last, he finally mourned the loss of his wife and child, now nothing more than dust, over 200 years in the past.</p><p>When he had no more tears to cry, he scrubbed his face and rose up out of the tub.  He stepped out, grabbed the towel, and dried off.  He turned back to drain the tub and noticed the muddy color of the water and grimaced at the fact that all that grime had been on his body.  He made a mental note to himself, to apologize to Mrs. Graham for dirtying her bedding in the spare bedroom.  He dressed in the modern clothing that Mrs. Graham had left, feeling completely uncomfortable and out of sorts.  But Mrs. Graham had assured him that the white button down shirt, slick black breeks, and low ankled black leather shoes with laces instead of buckles were what modern men wore.  She warned him that he didn't want to stand out and bring attention to himself, especially when he would be returning to his own time as soon as they figured out how time travel was accomplished.  </p><p>Once dressed, he took his filthy clothing back to the bedroom that Mrs. Graham had allowed him to use.  Then made his way to the kitchen in search of the breakfast, Mrs. Graham had mentioned in her note.  He quickly found the eggs, bacon, and what must be toast.  He quickly ate his breakfast, went to the sitting room, and picked up the book he had been reading the day before while Mrs. Graham was at the manse.</p><p>Mrs. Graham returned about an hour later and walked in to find Jamie in her sitting room, almost finished with the book from the day before.  "Are ye ready, lad?"</p><p>Jamie looked up from the book, laid it open on its face on the table, and stood up, "Aye, Je suis pret."</p><p>Mrs. Graham furrowed her brow, "What was that?"</p><p>Jamie chuckled, "My clan motto, it just means I am ready."</p><p>Mrs. Graham nodded in understanding, "Oh, I see.  Well then, let's go to Lallybroch."</p><hr/><p>Claire knew that if Jamie had managed to make it through the stones alive, that he would be fighting to find his way back to her.  If he was able to return, he would immediately be hunted, that is unless she was able to do something about it before he returned.  So the first item on her agenda after Jared had welcomed her back into his house with open arms was make a visit to Versailles and seek an audience with the king.</p><p>By the time the King sent word that he would see her, it was already mid-July and she was grateful that her pregnancy was beginning to show.  Perhaps it would put Louis off of his usual request for payment and he would listen to what she had to offer.   Louis had agreed that he would listen to her plea on August 1, 1746, which was a Monday.  </p><p>Since Claire had returned to Jared's doorstep with nothing but the clothes on her back, he had insisted on furnishing her with a full wardrobe of the finest clothes available in Paris.  So on the morning of August 1st, Claire dressed in a deep purple velvet gown, with a high neck, which showed off the swell of hers and Jamie's child beautifully.   She placed her hair up in a tight bun, took one last look in the mirror, and made her way to the coach outside.  </p><p>The baby had begun to take a lot out of her lately, so she decided to take a small catnap on the road to Versailles.  She had demanded that the driver take his time so that she wasn't jostled about unnecessarily during the bumpy ride.  It took just over two hours to reach the palace of Versailles after the coach left Jared's residence and Claire woke with a jolt as the coach came to a stop. </p><p>When she entered the palace, she was immediately summoned to the King's private chamber.  She was shown into the same room where she had met him to beg for Jamie's release and a quick glance to the bed caused an unwelcome shiver to go up her spine.  She took a seat on the settee and waited for the King to emerge.  After a few minutes of nervously twiddling her thumbs, the sound of a door opening drew her attention.  She looked up toward the direction of the sound and watch as King Louis emerged.  She rose to her feet and curtsied respectfully and awaited permission to rise.  </p><p>King Loius smirked at her, "You may rise, Madam Fraser."</p><p>Claire rose from her curtsied and sat back down when Louis gestured for her to do so.  He didn't offer her an orange from his orchard or a drink of chocolate this time, instead, he sat next to her and got straight to the point, "I didn't think I would see you back in France again, not after what happened with your husband.  So what is it that I can do for you, Madam Fraser?"</p><p>Claire took a deep breath and looked straight into Louis' eyes, "I do have a favor to ask of you, but I also have something that I can offer in return."</p><p>Louis quirked his eyebrow, "Please proceed."</p><p>Claire nodded, "You are aware of when my husband and I left France, after all, it was at your pleasure that we returned to Scotland post haste when he was released from the bastille.  What you might not be aware of, is that your cousin Charles Stuart forged my husband's name to a declaration of war that was circulated through Scotland and England.  The declaration branded Jamie as a traitor again and he had no choice but to raise arms and join Charles in his doomed rebellion.  Jamie and I tried to put a stop to it while we were here in Paris and then when we returned to Scotland as well.  We tried to stop it right up to the last battle at Culloden Moor.  But as I am sure you are aware, we failed and the battle raged on.  I am here to ask you to write a letter to King George, explaining everything I have said to you today.  It is my hope that Jamie can gain another pardon and not be a hunted man."</p><p>King Louis stood up and began to pace back and forth with a furrow to his brow, then after a few minutes he stopped directly in front of Claire, clasping his hands behind his back, "Why does your husband not come to ask this favor himself?"</p><p>Claire took another deep breath, "I can't be certain that Jamie made it out of the battle alive.  He sent me away to France before the battle began.  I am here to seek a pardon for him, in the off chance that he did survive and because I am the one that has something to offer you."</p><p>Louis quirked his brow and glanced down at her swollen abdomen, "I beg your pardon madam, but I do not take my pleasure from those carrying another man's child."</p><p>Claire blushed, "I didn't think so, but in any case, that is not what I am here to offer you.  What I have to offer is much more valuable."</p><p>Louis took his seat next to her, "Do go on, I am curious what you could offer me that has such value."</p><p>Claire nodded, "You used my services once, the services of La Dame Blanche.  It is those services which I would like to offer you, in return for the favor I have asked of you."</p><p>Louis narrowed his gaze at her, intrigue evident in his eyes, "What reason would I need the services of La Dame Blanche?  I have already rid the city of the heretics and those practicing the dark arts."</p><p>Claire sat a bit taller, confident in what she had to offer, "La Dame Blanche doesn't just see into men's souls.  She also has the ability to see the future.  I can help guide your choices in the men you choose to carry out your wishes and laws.  I am offering to be your royal advisor."</p><p>Louis stood up and began pacing again, but this time he seemed a bit more tense as he turned and stared at her, "Why would I need your advice?"</p><p>Claire stood to face him directly, "The French revolution will begin in May of 1789, which will lead to the executions of your grandson by guillotine.  But you will make several bad choices under the advisement of your mistress Jeanne-Antoinette Poisson, whom you met last year at a costume ball.  I can and will advise you toward decisions that will change all of that, if you wish it, in exchange for the favor I have asked."</p><p>Louis furrowed his brow, "I shall take it under consideration and send you a message, one way or the other.  You are dismissed, Madam Fraser."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mrs. Graham had convinced a chemist in Inverness to give her some Dramamine for her nephew that suffered from motion sickness.  What she failed to reveal to the chemist was that the identity of said nephew was actually Jamie.  She gave him a tablet with a glass of water as he stood from where he had been sitting when she arrived,  "Here lad, take this, it will help with yer motion sickness."</p><p>Jamie furrowed his brow, "What is motion sickness?"</p><p>Mrs. Graham smiled softly and patted his arm, "I noticed on the drive from the manse when I brought ye home with me that ye looked ill.  Ye probably felt seasick when ye sailed between Scotland and France, aye?"</p><p>Jamie nodded in understanding, "Aye, I felt seasick in yer car as well, but I suppose describing it as motion sickness makes more sense when I feel it on land as well as on the sea."</p><p>Mrs. Graham chuckled, "Aye, tis the same thing, and this wee tablet will help to ease the nauseous feeling ye get when ye are riding in a car.  Put it in yer mouth and swallow it down with a bit of water, we will wait five minutes for the drug to take effect, and then we will head up to Lallybroch."</p><p>Jamie nodded and did just as Mrs. Graham had instructed him to do.  While they waited for the five minutes to pass, Mrs. Graham offered Jamie a coat to wear while they were out.  Five minutes later they climbed into Mrs. Graham's car and began to make their way toward Lallybroch.  Mrs. Graham kept an eye on Jamie during the first few minutes of the ride to make sure the drug was working as it should and was pleased to see that Jamie looked completely at ease as he watched the landscape pass him by.  "Jamie, I ken that ye dinna plan to be in this century for very long, but we dinna ken how long it will take us to track down Claire."</p><p>Jamie turned to her and furrowed his brow, "Do ye expect it to take a while then?"</p><p>Mrs. Graham sighed, "I dinna ken, lad, but I have a proposition for ye while we search.  I ken just from looking at ye that ye are not a man that appreciates time to sit idle and wait for things to happen.  However, I still have my position at the manse that I must fulfill, especially if we dinna wish to raise suspicion and lead Mr. Randall to find out about ye.  So while I am at the manse, while I am completing my daily tasks, I thought perhaps ye would like something to keep ye busy as well."</p><p>Jamie nodded, "Aye, I would appreciate that and I ken it may take some time to find Claire and I dinna wish to burden ye any longer than I must."</p><p>Mrs. Graham waved her hand in the air as if to dismiss his worries, "Then what I have in mind should suit us both, if ye are amenable to it.  From what ye have told me of yer upbringing, I imagine that ye are good with yer hands, good at mending things and such."</p><p>Jamie nodded, "Aye, I am."</p><p>Mrs. Graham smiled, "I thought ye might be, so what would ye say to mending some things around my home, in payment for staying in my guest room?"</p><p>Jamie's eyebrows shot up in shock at her solution, "Aye, I could do that.  If ye make a list of what needs memdin', I would be happy to make the repairs in repayment of yer kindness toward me."</p><p>Mrs.Graham smiled, "Good, I'm glad we have that settled, but now its time to focus on our task for the day.  We are pulling into Broch Mordha, where is Lallybroch from here?"</p><p>Jamie tore his attention from Mrs. Graham and turned to look out the window.  A frown immediately spread across his face as he looked at all the buildings.  He turned back to face Mrs. Graham as his shoulders slumped, "I dinna ken, none of this is familiar.  Is there nothing left of the 18th century in this accursed world?"</p><p>Mrs. Graham furrowed her brow in thought, then suddenly her eyes brightened up, "I dinna ken for certain, but most of the old churches in Scotland that were around during yer time are still in existence, perhaps we can find our way if we can find an old church in Broch Mordha."</p><p>Jamie nodded hopefully and watched as Mrs. Graham pulled the car to the side of the road, got out, and walked over to something that resembled a privy.  Although it was shaped like a privy, it had windows and was painted red, which didn't resemble a privy in the slightest.  He could see Mrs. Graham through the window as she picked up a large book and began looking through it.  After a moment or two, she put the book down, stepped out of the strange looking privy, and made her way back to the car.  When she climbed inside she noticed the perplexed expression on Jamie's face and luckily she was able to deduce what had caused it in the first place, "It's called a telephone booth and the book is a directory of businesses and residents in Broch Mordha.  I used the book to look up any churches in the area and found only one."</p><p>Jamie nodded, still a bit confused, but most of the words Mrs. Graham had used were familiar to him from Claire's stories or his own limited experiences in the 20th century.  "Do ye ken if the church is one that was here from my time?"</p><p>Mrs. Graham shrugged, "I dinna ken, but we will find out soon enough, tis only a few blocks away."</p><p>Jamie furrowed his brow, "Blocks?"</p><p>Mrs. Graham rolled her eyes, "Nevermind, it doesna matter, we will be there in just a few minutes."</p><p>She drove the few blocks and pulled up in front of the church then gestured for Jamie to look at it, "Well, does the church appear to be familiar to ye?"</p><p>Jamie turned to look in the direction that Mrs. Graham was indicating with her finger and his eyes lit up, "Aye, this church was here in my time, I ken how to get to Lallybroch from here, just keep going in the direction that we are pointed.  Tis a few hours by horse, so I dinna ken how long that should take in a car."</p><p>Mrs. Graham smiled and patted his hand, "Likely only about 15 or 20 minutes, just sit back and relax.  Ye can tell me if I need to make any turns from here."</p><p>Jamie watched as the small village of Broch Mordha disappeared behind them and the hills beyond it began to look familiar.  He suddenly sat up straight when a large sign came into view.  He gasped when he read the beautifully crafted letters indicating his childhood home, "Mrs. Graham, that sign says Lallybroch is straight ahead, but it said it was a historical site."</p><p>Mrs. Graham nodded, "Aye, so it did.  I dinna ken what we will find when we arrive, but hopefully, we will still have access to the family burial plot."</p><p>Jamie clenched his jaw, not at all looking forward to that part of their trip, even though it was the only reason for their visit.  Mrs. Graham turned off the main road and followed the narrow paved driveway through the trees and suddenly the chimney's and roofline of Lallybroch emerged before them.  Jamie's jaw dropped at the sight of it looming large in front of him, "I didna ken what to expect, but I didna expect it to look just as it did on the day we left to join Charles Stuart's army.  Well no' exactly the same, the road was made of dirt before, not this solid black rock and there were more people about working in the fields and such."</p><p>Mrs. Graham nodded as she pulled the car through the archway, parked, and shut off the engine.  As the two of them climbed out of the car an elderly woman opened the solid oak door and stepped out onto the porch, "Welcome to Lallybroch, how may I help ye today?"</p><p>Jamie's eyes widened at the sight of the woman standing in front of his home, and his voice came out in a whisper, "Jenny?"</p><p>The woman furrowed her brow, "I'm sorry, do I ken ye?"</p><p>Jamie shook his head to dismiss the ludicrous thought, it couldn't be his sister Jenny standing there, not in the 20th century anyway.  "I'm sorry, I dinna think so, but ye remind me of someone."</p><p>The woman smiled kindly at him,  "The name is Janet Murray, but everyone calls me Jenny.  I was named after my seven times great grandmother on my father's side."</p><p>Jamie bowed gallantly then rose, "James Fraser, yer servant madam."</p><p>Jenny frowned, "A bit old fashioned or formal aren't ye? Usually such gestures are reserves for the Queen."</p><p>Jamie blushed, "Aye, a bit."</p><p>Jenny smiled, "Tis alright, it's nice to meet a true gentleman every once in a while, but to get back to why ye are here, how can I help ye?"</p><p>Jamie sighed, "My Aunt and I were hopin' that we could take a look at the family burial plot."</p><p>Jenny crossed her arms over her chest protectively, "What reason would ye have to do that and why would ye think I would allow it?"</p><p>Mrs. Graham stepped forward and placed a hand on Jamie's shoulder to quiet him, "What my nephew here has failed to mention is that he is a bit of a historian and our research into one of Charles Stuarts supporters and trusted advisors has led us here.  He also believes that the man he is researching is a long lost ancestor of his."</p><p>Jenny tilted her head to the side, "Who is it that ye are hoping to find?"</p><p>Jamie took a deep breath to steady himself and keep from weeping, "We believe that Red Jamie and his wife the Stuart Witch were the Laird and Lady of Lallybroch during the rebellion."</p><p>Jenny's arms dropped to her sides and her eyes went wide, "Ye said yer name was James Fraser, just like the original James Fraser, ye just might just be a long lost relative of mine. If that's the case, ye have every right to be here as I do. I haven't been up to the burial plot in years, so I dinna ken if ye will find what ye are looking for, but ye are more than welcome to take a look.  It is over the hill behind the house, but ye canna drive up there, ye will have to walk."</p><p>Jamie smiled a sad smile and nodded, "Thank ye, madam, truly.  We willna be up there longer than it takes to see if what we seek is there."</p><p>Jenny stood on the porch and watched as Mrs. Graham and Jamie walked under the archway, turned left, and began walking up the hill, straight in the direction of the graveyard.  As Jamie stepped through the wrought iron gate that surrounded the small family cemetery, his eyes immediately began to dart around in search of the headstone that would mark Claire's grave.  But as his gaze moved over the familiar headstone of his father, he felt himself being drawn to it as his feet began to move forward.  The headstone was familiar but the words engraved on the surface were barely discernable after centuries of facing the Scottish elements.</p><p>Jamie fell to his knees in front of his father's grave and the tears rolled down his face.  Mrs. Graham looked over the rest of the graves in search of Claire's name, but the markers were so old that unless you knew what you were looking at, you would never be able to tell who each stone belonged to.  So she walked to the edge of the plot and waited patiently for Jamie to make the discovery on his own.  After a few more minutes, Jamie wiped the tears from his face and rose up to his feet.  He found the strength to walk among the stones, paying tribute to those familiar to him and kneeling in front of those that had not been there before.  He ran his fingers over the face of each stone and felt what the engravings said.  He found Ian's grave, but the date was too faded to make out.  He also found several other Murrays among the unfamiliar stones, but none of the new stones belonged to Claire or their child.</p><p>He felt hope and sadness at battle inside of him.  He was filled with hope, having not found her grave, and perhaps she had escaped Scotland entirely, but on the other hand, not finding her grave meant that she had likely never returned to Lallybroch and that made him very sad.  If Claire never made it back to Lallybroch, perhaps she was killed at Culloden, and perhaps he would not be able to make it back to her."</p><p>He stood from the last grave marker, wiped his hands on his pants, and turned to walk back toward Mrs. Graham as his shoulders slumped in defeat.</p><p>Mrs. Graham took a hold of his arms, "Don't fret yet lad, not finding a marker is promising, it means we still have places to search for her.  Ye said she wouldn't come back to Lallybroch and it appears as though ye were right on that front, so let us focus our efforts on France."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Claire had decided that the best thing for her and the baby was to remain at Jared's residence during the day instead of helping out at L'Hopital de Anges.  Though she felt anxious about being cooped up all day, she wasn't about to take another chance and possibly lose her baby.  She would sit still every day until the child was born, it was the only thing she had left of Jamie, and nothing was worth taking a chance that she might lose another of his children.</p><p>As she spent most of her days in Jared's library, perusing his collection of books, she came to a realization.  She had blamed Jamie for the loss of their first daughter, but it had been her stubborn pigheadedness and need to do something to fill her days which led to stretching herself to thin.  She had been the one who had gone against his wishes and repeatedly returned to help at the hospital, regardless of Jamie's feelings on the matter.</p><p>It had been her decision to push herself past the point that she knew was safe and it had been her that had put the life of someone who no longer existed ahead of the life of their child.  No, she would not fill her urges to heal with needless trips to the hospital.  She would take the utmost care of herself and put her family ahead of her need to fulfill a boring day.  She sighed as she realized that she needed to face another reality, one where Jamie might not ever return to her.  She knew she needed to face facts and do the thing that she had been avoiding, something that she should have done as soon as she had landed in France.</p><p>She pulled herself from the chaise lounge in the bedroom she had once shared with Jamie and made her way to the study.  She knew there would be parchment on the desk, Jamie had been the last person to use it and he had left plenty of writing implements, ready for his use.  She sat down at the desk, having to sit far back to accommodate her now eight month pregnant belly, and began to write the letter that would make everything she had experienced since Jamie had sent her way, completely and irrevocably real. </p><p>She dipped the already sharpened quill into the inkwell and pressed it to the crisp white parchment.</p><p>
  <em>Dear Jenny,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I am so very sorry that it has taken me so long to write.  I could give you an excuse and tell you that I was waiting for the ports to open or for it to be safe enough that I could be certain that you would receive this letter.  But that would be a lie, it has taken me so long to write because I fear that what I have to say will break your heart.  It is my hope that Fergus made it safely back to Lallybroch, Jamie sent him back just before the battle.  He also asked Murtagh to send the men from Lallybroch home, if we saved at least those men and Fergus, then it was not for nothing.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But I write now, from your cousin Jared's residence.  Jamie also sent me away before the battle, he wanted to see me safe, to see us safe.  He knew that I was pregnant, even before I realized it.  He knew that as the wife of Red Jamie, I wouldn't be safe at Lallybroch and if you took me in, it would make you traitors as well.  He did what he thought was best to see us all safe.  But Jamie planned to return to the battlefield and face the English with the rest of those men.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>We knew that we were doomed, even before the battle took place, but Charles wouldn't listen.  We attempted a surprise attack, but Charles was incompetent and couldn't even lead half the men through the woods to attack General Cope when the British least expected it.  So they had no choice but to go into battle on Culloden Moor.  Jamie and I both knew that the Scots were outnumbered and outgunned.  But Charles and his generals wouldn't listen to reason.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Jamie and I were discussing our options, the best way to try and stop the battle, to save as many men as we could and Dougal overheard our plan.  He tried to attack me and Jamie defended me, he ended up killing Dougal with his own dirk.  As Jamie was pulling the dirk from Dougal's chest, Rupert arrived and knew that Jamie had killed him.  So even if Jamie didn't die on the battlefield, the MacKenzie's will want his head.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I don't know of Jamie's fate and I wish I had better news.  But I thought you deserved to know what happened and that soon, you will hopefully have a niece or nephew.  If Jamie did die on that field, at least he left a little piece of himself in this world for us to love.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I do have another bit of news and it is good news at that.  I spoke to King Louis some months ago about gaining a pardon for Jamie, should he live.  The King has accepted my offer and as soon as mine and Jamie's child is born, I will be an advisor to the King of France.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I love you, Jenny, I love all of you and I pray that my next letter to you will be with happy news about Jamie's child.</em>
</p><hr/><p>Jamie and Mrs. Graham spent many months searching for anything they could find on La Dame Blanche, but their resources in Scotland were limited.  Though they found the moniker mentioned many times in association with King Louis, there was no indication that it was Claire that the research referred to.  So in late October when they had gone over a month without finding any new information, Mrs. Graham knocked on Jamie's door just after sunrise, "Lad, come down to breakfast, I have something to discuss wi' ye."</p><p>Jamie had just gotten out of the shower and was rubbing the towel through his wet locks to soak up a bit of the water.  He furrowed his brow, curious about Mrs. Graham's strange tone, and quickly dressed.  When he made it down to breakfast, not even five minutes later, Mrs. Graham was sitting at the table, her cup of tea cradled in her hands as she looked up at him, a serious expression on her face.  "Have a seat lad, I have a proposition for ye."</p><p>Jamie quirked his brow, "Another, I've already repaired everythin' that was broken around here and ye have had me at the manse several times, what new task do ye have for me then?"</p><p>Mrs. Graham smiled and shook her head, "Och, no, nothing like that lad.  Ye ken that we have found everything we can on La Dame Blanche and Claire herself isna listed in any of the history books that we have access to."</p><p>Jamie furrowed his brow and sat down in the chair across from her, his interest in breakfast forgotten, "Aye, but I must keep searchin' she wasna at Lallybroch, so she must have gotten away.  I willna give up on findin' her and the bairn."</p><p>Mrs. Graham reached across the table and placed a gentle hand on his forearm.  She could feel the pent up tension that he was having trouble holding in check, "That isna what I was going to propose, Jamie."</p><p>Jamie's frown deepened in confusion, "Tis no', then what?"</p><p>Mrs. Graham chuckled, "I was going to suggest that we take a trip to France.  We should be far more successful in searching for the information we seek once we are there."</p><p>Jamie's expression softened and his eyes lit up. "Aye.  But are ye able to take enough time away from the Reverand for such a trip?"</p><p>Mrs. Graham nodded, "Aye, it will only take a few hours to fly there, we can stay for a few days, a week if need be and see if we can find anything more on La Dame Blanche or Claire."</p><p>Jamie sat up a bit taller, "And if we do, then the research ye did on the standing stones and the different places on the earth, it could come in useful.  Ye said there is a place in France where such a place exists?"</p><p>Mrs. Graham nodded, "Aye, there is a portal, hidden right inside the bell tower of Notre Dame, and my druid sisters assure me that there are legends such as those about Craig Na Dun that surround the tower, but only certain people on certain days of the year are able to travel.   We can do a bit more research about the portal and perhaps even go and visit it, once we land in France.  Perhaps everything will work out, ye will find Claire and be close enough to a portal to reach her again."</p><p>Jamie nodded, a new hope filling his chest, warming him from the inside out.  All hope was not lost, and he knew in his heart and his very bones that Claire was indeed the La Dame Blanche that they had found in their research.  However, what he didn't understand, was how Claire came to be in contact with Louis again.  When last he had spoken to her, she had never wanted to lay eyes on the man again.  But perhaps she had needed a way to support herself and the bairn and with her knowledge of the future, she would be invaluable to Louis.  He would likely pay her a King's ransom for the knowledge she could provide to him.  Jamie grinned at the thought of his stubborn wife using the tools at her disposal to live the best life she could and provide for their child when he was unable to do so.</p><p>He picked up his fork and began eating the breakfast that Mrs. Graham had prepared for him.  Suddenly ravenous, he consumed the whole plate that contained a traditional Scottish breakfast in minutes.  Mrs. Graham chuckled and patted his hand, "Slow down, lad.  We aren't leaving today."</p><p>Jamie swallowed the last of his orange juice and grinned sheepishly at her, "When do we leave if I might ask?"</p><p>Mrs. Graham nodded, "Aye, we leave first thing in the morning.  Ye just take today to gather yer thoughts and pack what ye wish to take with ye.  I have booked us two seats on the flight out of Inverness for 8:00 a.m. in the morning and we have two rooms in Paris for five days."</p><p>Jamie furrowed his brow, "Won't the Reverand need ye during that time?"</p><p>Mrs. Graham shook her head, "Och, no, he is flying to Boston to see Mr. Randall, he will be gone for the full week."</p><p>Jamie grinned, "Then we must make the most of our time away."</p><p>Mrs. Graham nodded, "Aye, lad and we shall."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Mrs. Graham knocked on Jamie's door at 6:00 a.m. he was already up and ready to go.  He lunged toward the door and pulled it open so fast that it startled Mrs. Graham.  She looked up at him with wide eyes, "I see yer eager to get this journey started, but first come down and have some breakfast, after that we will drive to the airport."</p><p>Jamie nodded and turned to grab the luggage that Mrs. Graham had loaned him, then scurried out the door after her.  He set his bag by the front door, then turned to walk toward the kitchen.  When he entered he noticed that Mrs. Graham had already plated the food for him and was sitting on the opposite of the table sipping her oolong tea.  He smiled politely at her then took a seat and focused on eating.  He wasn't exactly hungry, his appetite had left him soon after breakfast the day before when he realized that he might possibly find a lead to Claire in the coming week.  But he forced himself to eat the hearty breakfast before him, knowing that he would need the energy and Mrs. Graham had warned him that it was better to take the motion sickness medicine on a full stomach.</p><p>When he was finished eating, he gathered up all the dishes, took them to the sink, and quickly washed everything, leaving the clean dishes on a towel next to the sink to dry.  Mrs. Graham pulled the pill bottle out of her purse and handed him a tablet and a glass of cold water, "Here, lad, I dinna ken how ye will handle flyin' through the air, but tis better to be safe than sorry."</p><p>Jamie nodded and tossed the pill to the back of his throat, then downed the entire glass of water.  </p><p>Mrs. Graham chuckled and shook her head, "Alright, lad, are ye ready to go?"</p><p>Jamie nodded, "Je suis pret, I mean, yes I'm ready."</p><p>Mrs. Graham smiled and patted his forearm, "I remember from last time ye said that, tis yer family motto, aye?"</p><p>Jamie nodded with a smirk, "Aye, tis."</p><p>Mrs. Graham turned and walked toward the front door, with Jamie hot on her heels.  They both grabbed their coats off of the hooks next to the door, then picked up their bags and locked the door.</p><hr/><p>To say Jamie was amazed by the whole experience of flying would be an understatement, he kept his eyes glued to the window for most of the flight.  He shook his head as he watched Scotland fall away and he was astounded at his ability to see the entire country from his vantage point.  Finally, when they were over open water, he tore his gaze from the window to look at Mrs. Graham, "Claire told me about airplanes once and how they just seemed to stay aloft.  I thought perhaps ye would have God's own view of the world, but imagining it and experiencing it is somethin' else entirely.  I canna wait to tell Claire that I flew on an airplane."</p><p>Mrs. Graham chuckled and patted his arm, "Ye have seen the changes in Scotland over the past 200 years, just wait until ye see Paris, ye are in for a treat, my lad."</p><p>Jamie's grin split across his face at the thought of what he might discover.  He only wished that Claire were there to share it with him."</p><p>He turned his attention back to the window and watched as France came into sight, the land getting nearer and nearer as the minutes passed.  After a bit, he relented and sat back in his seat to enjoy the rest of the flight.  Eventually, the pilot welcomed the passengers to France and asked everyone to buckle their seatbelts.</p><p>Jamie grabbed a hold of the armrests and braced for a rough landing, worried they would just fall out of the sky.  But luckily, the plane landed softly and only bumped along here and there as it came to a stop at the end of the runway. </p><p>After landing, Mrs. Graham escorted Jamie off the plane and into the airport where they could collect their luggage.  When they reached the baggage carousel, Jamie grabbed everything then turned and followed Mrs. Graham out the front doors of the airport where she hailed a cab.  Jamie loaded their belongings into the trunk and Mrs. Graham gave the driver the name of the hotel they would be staying in.  </p><p>Jamie peered out the window for the entire drive, not recognizing anything as they drove along the streets of Paris.  When they finally arrived at their hotel, Jamie again grabbed all the luggage and followed Mrs. Graham to the receptionist's counter in the lobby of the hotel.  After she paid, the man behind the counter handed her two keys and gave her directions on how to find their rooms.  Jamie dutifully followed Mrs. Graham until she came to a set of doors with numbers.  Mrs. Graham passed Jamie a key and took her bag from him, "Ye will be in number 20 and I'll be in number 21, I'm right next door if ye need anything."</p><p>Jamie accepted the key and nodded, "When do we begin our research into La Dame Blanche?"</p><p>Mrs. Graham smiled kindly, "Get yer self settled into yer room and I'll meet ye back here in twenty minutes."</p><p>Jamie breathed a sigh of relief, "Thank ye, Mrs. Graham."</p><hr/><p>Jenny received Claire's letter almost a month after Claire had written it, she read it out loud to Ian, Murtagh, and Fergus.  Everyone was shocked at the news, but Murtagh was confused.  He took the letter from Jenny and read through it once more.  When he was finished he looked up at Jenny and Ian, "Jamie told me that he was sendin' Claire to safety, he had me send the men home but promised me that he would return to the battlefield.   I waited for him, but he never returned.  That is when I decided to catch up wi' Fergus and the men and return to Lallybroch myself."</p><p>Jenny furrowed her brow, "What are ye sayin', Murtagh?"</p><p>Murtagh's frown deepened as he spoke more to himself than the rest of the family, "I figured that if Jamie had no' returned, that he must have traveled to Claire's time wi' her."</p><p>Jenny's eyes grew wide as she walked around the table and grabbed Murtagh by the shoulders, "What do ye mean, Claire's time, what are ye no' tellin' us?"</p><p>Murtagh looked up at Jenny then at the other two people standing around the dining room table, "Perhaps we better go into the parlor and have a seat and a dram, what I have to tell ye will be hard to hear, even harder to believe."</p><p>The other three members of the family followed Murtagh into the parlor and Jenny instructed the servants not to interrupt them or enter the parlor unless it was an emergency.  When everyone had a tumbler of whisky in hand, Murtagh began from the beginning, from the day he rescued Claire from the hands of the notorious Black Jack Randall.</p><p>By the time he finished, three sets of eyes looked at him in astonishment, but Ian was the first to speak.  "I always thought there was somethin' strange about Claire, no' in a bad way, mind, but a bit different than anyone I had ever met before."</p><p>Murtagh nodded, "Aye, I did as well and after learnin' the truth, it all made a bit more sense.  She knew all of this would come to pass. The three of us, well four countin' wee Fergus, we tried to stop it all from happening.  Tis why we remained in Paris for so long."</p><p>Jenny furrowed her brow, "Why did they no' tell us, did they no' trust us?"</p><p>Murtagh sighed, "Ye ken that Claire was tried for a witch at Cranesmuire, she feared it happening again.  They only told me because they needed my help to try and stop the foolish prince, though we all failed in the end."</p><p>Jenny suddenly stood up and began pacing back and forth, "So what do ye think happened to Jamie then?  Clearly, he did no' go wi' Claire to Paris."</p><p>Murtagh shook his head, "I dinna ken, but the only person who can tell us is currently in Paris.  But Claire likely kens the risk of sendin' such information in a letter.  She kens the letter could be intercepted by the British and such correspondence would put us all in danger."</p><p>Jenny nodded, "Aye, it would.  So how do ye propose we find out what happened to Jamie?"</p><p>Fergus stood up and walked over to Jenny, forcing her to stop and look at him, "What is it, lad?"</p><p>Fergus squared his shoulders, "I can return to Paris, a letter from a Frenchman will not be as suspicious as one from milady."</p><p>Murtagh nodded and came to stand by Fergus's side, "Aye, I can take him."</p><p>Jenny turned and began pacing again, "Tis dangerous, but neither of ye are as conspicuous as Jamie wi' his muckle size and red hair.  Aye, tis the only way to ken what has truly happened to Jamie, ye must go and ye must go soon.  Claire will need ye both, she and the bairn will both need ye."</p><p>Ian nodded, "Aye, I'll make arrangements for one of the tenants to take ye to Inverness within the week."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jamie insisted on first going to the docks where Jared's warehouse had been and he was quite flabbergasted and thrilled to see that Fraser's Imports and Exports of Fine Wine's was a thriving business that had been established in the early 18th century.  The lady at the front desk had told him it was a family business when it had been founded and had been passed down to the founder's nephew, Michael Murray, and had remained in the family, being passed down from generation to generation ever since.</p><p>After that, Jamie wanted to go to Jared's residence, but the grand house was owned by some French aristocrats that were currently out of the country and not available to give permission for visitors to tour the property.  Mrs. Graham had noticed the disappointment on his face and put a hand on his shoulder, "Is there anywhere else that ye would like to visit before we begin our research?"</p><p>Jamie nodded, "Aye, just one more place."</p><p>Mrs. Graham smiled, "Aye, and where would that be?"</p><p>Jamie swallowed and pressed his lips into a thin line, the pain radiated off of his body.  "L'Hopital de Anges, there is a wee cemetery there, tis where mine and Claire's daughter Faith is buried."</p><p>Mrs. Graham's smile fell, "Aye, lad, we can go there next, then after that, we will go to the library at Versailles."</p><hr/><p>Jamie and Mrs. Graham walked into the library at Versailles and Jamie immediately stopped in his tracks in front of a portrait.  Mrs. Graham turned and walked back to him, her hand coming up to cover her mouth as she gasped, "That's Claire."</p><p>Jamie nodded, "Aye, tis, and look at the nameplate."</p><p>Mrs. Graham tore her eyes from the painting of Claire and looked down at the brass nameplate.  It read 'Claire Fraser, known to many as La Dame Blanche, Royal Advisor to King Louis XV.'</p><p>Jamie grinned, "Well, I believe we have found our proof."</p><p>Mrs. Graham nodded, completely aghast that it had been as simple as walking into a French palace to confirm their suspicions.  "It seems that we didna need to do much research after all.  Our time here is through, now we need to go to Notre Dame and research the portal."</p><p>Jamie nodded as the smile spread wider on his face, "Mrs. Graham, look at the dates."</p><p>Mrs. Graham looked back at the nameplate and realized that there were indeed dates listed.  It appeared as though Claire had been an advisor to the king from 1746 to 1750.  As long as time ran parallel, which it certainly seemed to based on how long it had been from when Claire disappeared to when Jamie appeared at the stones, Jamie would have plenty of time to find her in Paris.</p><p>Jamie took Mrs. Graham's hand, "Come, we must go to Notre Dame, we need to find out all we can about the portal, if it works like Craigh Na Dun, we only have a few days before it opens."</p><p>Mrs. Graham nodded and allowed Jamie to pull her along until they were standing outside the palace and hailing down a taxi.</p><p>When they arrived at Notre Dame, they didn't have much time left to explore.  But luckily a man of the cloth noticed them and approached them, "Hello, is there something I can help you with, it appears as though you might have a question on your mind."</p><p>Jamie cast a glance at Mrs. Graham and she gave him a minute nod to ask his question, "Father, we have heard legends about the bell tower of Notre Dame."</p><p>The Father chuckled, "There are many legends surrounding Notre Dame, which of these do you speak of?"</p><p>Jamie took a deep breath and hoped for the best, "We have heard that there is a portal in one of the towers, a sort of doorway to pass from one time to another."</p><p>The father nodded in understanding, "Awe, yes.  I have heard the tale as well, but I'm afraid that I am not one of the chosen.  I don't hear the angels sing near the bells, so I can't confirm or deny the portal's existence."</p><p>Jamie's face brightened considerably, "Would ye mind sharin' what ye have heard?"</p><p>The Father nodded and gestured to a pew, "Let us sit and I will tell you what I know."</p><p>Jamie followed the elderly man over to a pew, took a seat, and slid over a bit to allow the Father to sit next to him.  The man got settled then looked up, Jamie noticed he was looking in the direction of the tower in question.  "It is said that for certain people on certain days of the year, the veil of time is able to be passed through.  But not everyone has that ability and one doesn't know if they are one of the chosen unless they visit the tower and hear the angels sing.  It is said that for those people, they can always hear the angels when they are in the tower, but on the days where travel is possible, the angels drown out every other sound."</p><p>Jamie swallowed and cleared his throat, "Father, do ye happen to ken on which days one might possibly be able to travel?"</p><p>The Father looked at Jamie as if suddenly realizing that someone else was sitting with him, "Oh, yes of course.  It is said that the chosen ones can travel on holy days."</p><p>Jamie furrowed his brow, "Holy days?"</p><p>The Father chuckled, "Yes, but not what you would typically consider as Holy Days.  There are 18 Holy Days recognized by the church, but not all of them are associated with the stories of the bell tower."</p><p>Jamie took a calming breath so as not to throttle the father for dragging the story out, "Which of the Holy Days are usually referenced in the stories of the portal?"</p><p>The Father furrowed his brow, "Let's see, there is Solemnity of Mary, on January 1st, as well as Ascension of Jesus, on May 21st, then, of course, there is Christmas on December 25th."</p><p>Jamie's eyes went wide, "Christmas, but isn't the church usually full of people on Christmas?"</p><p>The Father nodded, "It is, but if a person is called by the angels, they must go."</p><p>Jamie cleared his throat, "Father, just one more question.  Do the angels require anything for the safe passage of a traveler?"</p><p>The Father nodded, "Yes, it is said that gold is required to keep the traveler safe.  But there is one more thing about the portal, it is said that once a person touches the bell and travels they can no longer return to their own time.  They must live out their days in the time they travel to."</p><p>Jamie thanked the Father profusely then waited for him to leave before making his way up to the tower, to test his ability to hear the angels.  To his relief and astonishment, the angels sang for him and it was among the most beautiful sounds Jamie had ever heard.  He was surprised that even after the ax wound that Dougal had inflicted that the voices of the angels rang true and clear to him. </p><p>After confirming his ability to hear them, he and Mrs. Graham quickly left the church and returned to their hotel in Paris.  They decided to order room service and eat in Jamie's room while they went over everything they had learned.  Jamie took a bite of his fish then looked up at Mrs, Graham, "Clearly we canna remain here until Christmas, but I need to come back so that I can attempt to travel."</p><p>Mrs. Graham nodded, "Aye, in the meantime, we can prepare for yer return, we can gather things that will be useful to ye when ye return."</p><p>Jamie got a mischievous look upon his face, "Claire didna have her medical kit wi' her when we fled, would it be possible to gather items that would be of use to her and take a new kit back to her?"</p><p>Mrs. Graham chuckled, "Aye, we can certainly do that.  When we return to Scotland, ye should make a list of what ye would like to take and we will use the next two months to gather what we can.</p><hr/><p>In the early morning of November 23rd, Claire woke to a sharp pain in her back.  She yelled out in agony and Suzette came rushing in, "Milady, are you alright?"</p><p>Claire clenched her teeth and tried to speak through the pain, "Suzette, I think the baby is coming, get the midwife."</p><p>Suzette curtsied, "Right away, milady."</p><p>Suzette returned a few minutes later, "I have sent word, would milady like anything, some tea perhaps to ease the pain?"</p><p>Claire shook her head, "No, nothing like that, but would you help me up and walk with me, I think it will help to take some of the pain out of my back."</p><p>Suzette nodded and hurried to help Claire to her feet.  They walked for what seemed like hours until the midwife finally arrived.  She instructed Claire to lie down so that she could check her progress.  Claire watched as the midwife adhered to all of the sanitary practices that Claire had demanded she follow, then she sighed in relief to see that the young woman had not forgotten.  The midwife pushed up the hem of Claire's shift, then using her hand she measured the opening of Claire's cervix.  "It's almost time to push Mademoiselle Fraser, you need to remain lying on the bed and rest until it is time to push.  This will be among the hardest things you have ever done and you will need all of your energy to get through it."</p><p>Claire nodded and tried not to cry, she knew she could get through the next steps, but she wasn't supposed to be alone for any of it.  Jamie was supposed to be at her side, he was supposed to be there when his child was born, he was supposed to hold his baby for the first time and gaze down into his or her eyes with so much love it hurt.  Claire swallowed past the lump that had formed in her throat and tried to clear those thoughts from her mind.  Right now she needed to focus on bringing Jamie's child into the world, alive and whole.</p><p>Suzette left to get some water for Claire to sip and while she was gone the midwife checked Claire's progress again.  "Madam, it is time to begin pushing, when you feel your next pain, bear down with all your might."</p><p>Claire tried to nod, but the next contraction started and she shifted her focus to pushing her child out.   She pushed several times, feeling like she hadn't made any progress at all, but all of a sudden she felt a burning sensation as her child's head began to emerge.  The midwife seemed excited and gave Claire encouragement to push through the painful sensation and get the head out.  Once the head was delivered, the midwife patted Claire's knee, "Take a moment to catch your breath, this next push should do it, and then your child will be here."</p><p>Claire nodded and closed her eyes, gripping Suzette's hand so tight that she feared she might be splinting her fingers later.  After a few deep breathes she began to push again, the shoulders and body slipping out quite easily compared to the effort required to push the small melon size head from her body.  She collapsed back against the headboard, sucking in breathes as she focused on the midwife's words, "You have a beautiful baby girl, madam Fraser."</p><p>Claire smiled softly as she released Suzette's hand.  The midwife passed the baby to Suzette, who took her over to the fresh basin to wipe all of the birthing fluids from her tiny body.  Claire kept her eyes on Suzette, already so in love with the little bundle in her arms that she hadn't even gotten a peek at.  The midwife patted her knee to draw her attention back to the task at hand, "I know that you wish to meet your little one, but we must deliver the afterbirth, do you think you can give me one more push?"</p><p>Claire took a deep breath and nodded, bearing down as hard as she could, the afterbirth, slipping out easily.   The midwife set the after birth aside, then returned her attention to cleaning Claire up.  But the time she had finished Suzette had also finished wiping up the baby.  The midwife tucked a quilt around Claire and Suzette brought the child over and carefully laid her in Claire's arms.  "Do you have a name chosen for yer milady?"</p><p>Claire stroked the tiny pink cheek with the back of her forefinger and looked down into her child's face, already so in love with her, "Yes, her name is Brianna Ellen Fraser, after her grandparents."</p><p>Suzette smiled and reached a hand out to stroke the fine wispy hair on the top of Brianna's head, "She has milord's hair and eyes as well, it appears."</p><p>Claire tore her gaze from Brianna's eyes, her father's eyes, and let them drift across her entire body, taking in each detail as if her life depended on the memory of her child alone, "Yes, she does."</p><p>Suzette pulled her hand back, "I'll leave you alone for a bit to get acquainted with the babe, call out if you need anything."</p><p>Claire tore her gaze from her daughter and looked up at Suzette, with gratitude in her eyes, "Thank you so much, Suzette.  I won't be requiring anything just yet, but later I would like some writing implements to write to the rest of our family and tell them about Brianna's birth."</p><p>Suzette curtsied, "Oui, milady."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>My dearest Jenny, it is with great pleasure that I write to you today.  I send news of the birth of a daughter.  I have named her for your father and mother.  Jamie asked me to name our child after your father, and since the baby turned out to be a lovely little girl, I chose to incorporate your mother's name as well.  I have named her Brianna Ellen Fraser and she is definitely a Fraser.  She has Jamie's red hair and blue eyes, and there is no doubting who fathered her.  It is my hope that one day you can meet her and see that even if your brother died on that more, that there is something left of him in this world.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It has been a month since I sent my last letter to you, I do not know if you have even received it yet.  I know that the clearances have likely already started in Scotland and I pray that everyone at Lallybroch is safe.  I know that times are strained there, so what I ask won't cost you anything, save a bit of paper and time.  Please send back word of Fergus and the men that Jamie tried to save.  I know that it must feel as if I have abandoned you all, but you are all always in my heart and in my mind.  If I knew that my presence wouldn't bring harm to Lallybroch, I would board a ship and sail home today, but I know that if I were there, the British would see you all as traitors.  I cannot in good conscience do that to you or your family, but I will do all I can to send what I can to Lallybroch.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I am expected to go and speak with King Louis in a week's time and after negotiations with him, I can hopefully send word of how I will be able to help you all to make it through these difficult times.  I eagerly await word from you and I pray that even though all of these trials that you are in good health and of sound mind.  I apologize for keeping the letter short, but your niece is in need of me now and I must get this letter sent off with the courier to be placed on the next ship to Scotland.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>With all my love, Claire Fraser</em>
</p><p>Jenny folded up the letter and wiped a tear from her eye.  She looked up at Ian and he smiled softly at her, "It has been two weeks since Murtagh and Fergus boarded the ship in Edinburgh, they should arrive at Jared's home sometime around Yuletide if the weather holds."</p><p>Jenny nodded, "Aye, I ken.  I wish to write back to her, but ye ken how the soldiers are.  She likely wouldna ever receive the letter.  Murtagh and Fergus will have to tell her of our well being."</p><p>Ian took the letter from her and set it on the desk, "I wish we had news of Jamie, at least if we had news, we would have somethin' to share wi' her."</p><p>Jenny sighed carefully got up from the chair, "Aye and if Claire had news, surely she would share that wi' us.  I canna imagine what she must be goin' through, bringin' a bairn into the world when ye dinna even have news of whether yer husband lives, or has died."</p><hr/><p>Three days before Christmas, Jamie boarded a plane to France.  It was his first flight alone, but Mrs. Graham had thought it better that he go alone since Frank would be at the manse and her absence during the holidays would certainly cause suspicion.   So he climbed aboard, his suitcase full of the items he would carry with him through the tower portal, and made his way to his seat.  He watched out the small oval window of the airplane as the 20th century version of Scotland fell away and out of his sight, for hopefully the last time.  If everything went as planned, he would travel through the portal in the bell tower of Notre Dame at Midnight on Christmas eve and arrive in 18th century France only moments later.</p><p>He closed his eyes and thought of Claire and the bairn she would have already given birth to, trying to imagine how his son might look as he allowed his mind and body to relax.  He quickly drifted off to sleep to the sound of the plane engine just outside his small window.</p><hr/><p>Murtagh and Fergus stood at the railing of the ship bound for France, both eager to see Claire and meet Jamie's child.  Murtagh nudged Fergus's shoulder, "How do ye feel about bein' a brother?"</p><p>Fergus shrugged, "I have been around babies before, they are loud and smelly."</p><p>Murtagh chuckled, "Ye dinna fool me, lad.  I can see that ye are excited to meet the wee bairn."</p><p>Fergus rolled his eyes, "Maybe a bit, I have never been a brother before.  Do you think the bairn will like me?"</p><p>Murtagh rolled his eyes, "By the time we get there, the bairn will only be about a month old, no' old enough to ken that yer trouble."</p><p>Fergus sighed, "I am eager to see milady again, but it is sad is it not?"</p><p>Murtagh furrowed his brow, "Sad, why would havin' a bairn be sad?"</p><p>Fergus shrugged again, "The last time that milady had a bairn, milord was in bastille for dueling with the Englishman.  The bairn died and milady was sad for months.  Now, even if the bairn survived, she doesn't have milord and she has no hope of ever seeing him again.  It's just sad that she is all alone and the bairn with no father."</p><p>Murtagh sighed and placed an arm around Fergus's shoulder, "Aye, that is sad, but at least Claire will have us, we are her family, are we no'?"</p><p>Fergus nodded and leaned into Murtagh's side, "Oui, she will be happy to see us.  How long till we get there?"</p><p>Murtagh looked out over the sea, "We should be pulling into port by morning and should be arriving at Jared's some time on Yuletide."</p><p>Fergus nodded, "Good, the sooner the better, milady needs us."</p><hr/><p>Claire walked back and forth, a fussy one month old in her arms.  "Please Bree, I know you're upset, but tomorrow is Christmas and I just want to get a bit of rest before it comes."</p><p>Brianna's wails increased in volume and intensity and Claire shook her head and rolled her eyes, "Oh, my love, it does my heart good to hear your lungs, so healthy and strong.  Your father would be so proud of you, but please my little darling, I don't know what else to do for you."</p><p>Brianna's wails slowed and she peered up into her mother's tired eyes.  Claire smiled softly at her as she stroked her finger down her cheek, "You are so like him, I wish he could see you.  He loved you so much and I pray to God that he survived the journey and is even now looking through time to try and find us."</p><p>Brianna shoved her tiny fist in her mouth and gurgled her reply.  Claire shook her head and walked over to sit on the edge of the bed, bone tired from trying to calm her child.  She looked down into Brianna's angelic face, "Will you remain calm if I just lean against the headboard and rest my eyes for a bit?"</p><p>Brianna gurgled again, so Claire carefully maneuvered herself up to the center of the bed, holding Brianna against her chest as she leaned her head back and closed her eyes. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jamie woke before sunrise on the morning before Christmas, he went into the ensuite bathroom and showered for the last time.  After his shower, he used the silver straight razor, which Mrs. Graham had gifted him before his departure to shave his face bear in preparation for his arrival in the 18th century.  He then towel dried his hair and dressed in his 18th century attire, tucking everything else into the green canvas army bag that Mrs. Graham had obtained for him to carry through the portal.  He tucked his pistol into the bag and strapped his sword to the outside, but he kept his dirk on his belt, hidden beneath his wool coat.  He had the full day to fill before he would go to the cathedral, so he decided he could fill some of that time with writing a letter to his sister Jenny.  </p><p>He set his bag next to the door, then walked over to the small desk in the corner.  Thankfully the hotel had provided him with paper and what the reception has called a fountain pen, to write with.  He pulled the chair out, sat down, and stared down at the crisp white paper for several minutes while he gathered his thoughts.   After a bit, he nodded to himself, twisted the cap off of the pen, and began to write.</p><p>
  <em>My dearest Jenny,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I apologize that it has taken me so long to write to ye.  In truth, I have an unbelievable excuse, but one that made it impossible for me to write to ye.  I have many things to share with ye, but a letter might not be the smartest or safest way to share those things.  But what I can tell ye, is that I am so sorry for the danger that I have certainly brought to yer door.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>For my part in the rising, I am a wanted man, I have seen the broadsheets on tavern doors as we have traveled with the army.  So as such, I willna darken yer doorstep and bring further danger to ye and yer family.  As ye can plainly see from the date on which I am writing this letter, I survived the last battle.  In truth, I didna fight in the last battle, but by some miracle or divine intervention, I was able to escape harm before the battle began.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I had intended to send Claire away to safety, having just prior to the battle, realized that she was with child.  Ye ken that we lost our wee Faith while we were in France and I couldna bear for her to lose another bairn, so it was my plan to send her away while I returned and fought with Charles.  However, somehow my plan went awry and I didna ken what happened to Claire at the time.   However, I recently found information as to her whereabouts and it is my intention to go to her and our child.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I also wished to ascertain the whereabouts of our lad, Fergus.  I ken that ye willna be able to reply to this letter, but it is my hope that he fulfilled his last duties to me and delivered to ye the document I sent with him and that he arrived in good health.  Please take care of our lad as if he was yer own, Jenny, as I dinna ken when if ever Claire and I will be able to return to Scotland.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I also am writing to warn ye of what is to come for the future of Scotland.  I dinna ken what all has come to pass since my sudden disappearance, but ye likely will have already experienced increased British patrols, if they have no' already been to Lallybroch in search of Red Jamie already, they soon will.  I canna tell ye how I came upon knowledge of what is to come, but please trust that what I can tell ye, is genuine and I have seen the proof of it with my own eyes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The British will ban the wearing or owning of tartans, they will come and take them and burn them.  They will ban our mother tongue and will likewise burn any publications which contain the Gáidhlig language and punish anyone speaking it.  They will ban the ownership of weapons, they will raid homes, take what they wish, leaving family's with no' enough to survive.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There is a famine coming, so the potatoes that Claire suggested will be vital for yer survival over the next several years.  Once I find Claire, I will do what I can to see that Lallybroch makes it through these tough times, but I fear the best I can do to see Lallybroch safe, will be to remain away, for as long as it takes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I will write again as soon as I can, but I wanted ye to ken that I have been safe and cared for these past months and I will do everything in my power to see my wife and child safe and cared for as well.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your loving brother</em>
</p><p>
  <em>J.A.M.M.F.</em>
</p><hr/><p>The ship pulled into port early in the afternoon on December 24th, 1746.  Murtagh could almost see the excitement radiating off of Fergus as the boy had been bouncing on the balls of his feet with barely contained energy from the moment they had spotted land that morning.  Murtagh put a hand on his shoulder in hopes of calming him, "Be still, lad, we will find a room for tonight then ride to Jared's home in Paris first thing in the morning.</p><p>Fergus sighed, his excitement finally subdued, "We won't see Milady and the wee petite tonight?"</p><p>Murtagh shook his head, "No, lad, we have several hours ride still ahead of us and I dinna wish to be ridin' at night into the city.  We will have breakfast in the mornin' then be off.  If we are lucky, we should arrive no' long after the noon meal and I'd bet my best shirt that Suzette will have somethin' warm already waitin' for us."</p><p>Fergus grinned at the memory of the fine Parisian food he had enjoyed when he had lived at Jared's house before.  "I can't wait to meet the bairn.  I wonder if it is a girl or a boy."</p><p>Murtagh nodded as he gathered their things and handed one of the bags to Fergus to carry down the gangplank, "Aye, I dinna mind much either way, but I canna wait to see if the bairn takes after Jamie or Claire.  For Claire's sake, I hope it takes after Jamie, that way she will have a wee reminder of him."</p><p>Fergus's face fell as he nodded, "Yes, in case he died."</p><p>Murtagh made a sound in his throat, then pushed Fergus along so they could take the last few steps toward dry land.  "Come, lad, let's find a bed and hot meal for the night."</p><hr/><p>By the time Jamie finished the letter, it was already past noon and he realized that he had not yet had anything to eat.  He folded his letter, used the wax of one of the candles on the mantle to seal it, then tucked it into the top of his canvas bag. He pulled his wool coat on over his waistcoat, tied his now dry hair into a queue and tucked the fountain pen into his pocket. </p><p>He took one last look in the mirror to ensure that he would not only not stand out as he journeyed to Notre Dame, but that he would also fit in once he arrived back in his time.  He nodded to himself, satisfied that there was nothing more he could do, then gathered his bag, left his rented room, and walked down the single flight of stairs to the reception area where he used the phone to call a for a taxi.</p><p>The taxi arrived about 10 minutes later and Jamie walked out into the cold December air, climbed in, and asked the driver to take him to get something to eat.  The driver took him to a small diner, where Jamie ordered a large lunch which he ate slowly when it was brought to his table.  He still had quite a few hours before he could pass through the portal, so there was no need to rush over to the cathedral just yet. </p><p>He ended up sitting in the diner for a few more hours, watching as people passed by on the street outside.  But when the sun began to dip low in the sky and paint the world in hues of pinks and oranges, he knew it was time to go.  He asked the waitress to borrow the phone and she called a taxi for him.  The taxi arrived within minutes this time and when Jamie noticed it, he gathered his bag, slipping the strap over his neck, and made his way outside.</p><p>Once inside the taxi, he asked the driver to take him straight to Notre Dame.  The diner where he had eaten had been on the outskirts of town, so it took roughly 20 minutes to drive to the cathedral.  Jamie was lost in thought during the drive, wondering over what Claire would make of him.  It had only been about 8 months since he had last seen her, but would she still want him?  Had his time in the future changed him so much that he was now a different man, would he be able to find his place in a world without so many conveniences at the tip of his fingers.</p><p>He suddenly felt anxious and realized that he now knew how Claire must have felt when she suddenly, without warning had found herself 200 years in the past.  As the minutes passed, he stared out the window, taking in all of the changes that had occurred since he had been in France with Claire in 1744.  Then before he knew it, the taxi was coming to a stop in front of the grand cathedral, where men, women, and children were already entering through the front doors for the Christmas eve midnight mass. </p><p>Jamie took a breath, paid the driver, opened the door to the taxi, and stepped out to look straight up to the tower, where he could already hear the voices of the angels calling him to come home.</p><p>With the crowd all focused on attending mass, no one appeared to notice Jamie as he blended seamlessly into the crowd.  He slowly made his way to the staircase that the holy man had shown him during his first visit, looked over his shoulder to make sure he wasn't being followed then quickly climbed the stairs toward the bell tower.  Even with the overwhelming buzz of the crowd below, Jamie could hear the heavenly sounds of the angel's voices from above, becoming steadily louder as he made his ascent.   The closer he came, the more melodic the voices became and the less he could hear the people crowding into the cathedral below him. </p><p>When he finally emerged in the bell tower, Jamie walked over to look out over the city.  It was covered in a fine mist, giving the city and everyone below an almost ethereal quality in the waning evening light.   Though the walls of the tower protected him from the elements, the air still held a chill and Jamie would need to wait until midnight before he could pass safely through the portal.   So for the next four hours, Jamie huddled in the corner of the bell tower, wrapped in his tartan, and listened to the voices of the angels. </p>
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